Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Monday, June 28, 2010

Five Ways to Improve Any Relationship !!

Leave a Comment
Five Ways to Improve Any Relationship !!

* Acknowledge the big and the little things.
People want to be seen. They want their actions, attitudes, feelings and aspirations to be noticed and acknowledged. Become a person who notices.

* Give thanks and appreciation.
Thank others and they are more likely to do more of the same. Why? Because being thanked feels good. Tell them you appreciate it too.

* Give 'just because' appreciation for who they are.
Make a list of what you admire about your partner or another person. Now share that list with them. You don't have to wait for a special occasion. Surprise that special person any time.

* Take active interest.
Take a real interest in the things important to others. Listen to them and have a conversation about their hobbies, career or interests. Learn something new about the topic. It will make them feel understood and important.

* Do special things just for them.
Find out what others like. Is it cards, flowers, a foot rub, a dinner out? You may not like or want these same things and that's ok. Do something or give something they like. Make them feel special.

See how many of these you can practice in one week with special people in your life and watch the intimacy in your relationships grow. Happy loving !!

[100301c1f615.gif]
Read More...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

10 Steps to increase the bonding between Parents and Children

Leave a Comment

Recently we celebrated Mother's and Father's Day.Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between parent and child is one that requires work and effort to make it strong and successful. Parenting is a tough job, and maintaining close relationships and open communications helps to ensure parents and their children stay connected through all ages of their upbringing. Here are 10 simple tips for enhancing the bond between parent and child.

1. Say I Love You
Tell your child you love him every day -- no matter his age. Even on trying days or after a parent-child disagreement, when you don't exactly "like your child" at that moment, it is more important than ever to express your love. A simple "I love you" goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.

2. Teach Your Faith
Teach your child about your faith and beliefs. Tell him what you believe and why. Allow time for your child to ask questions and answer them honestly. Reinforce those teachings often.

3. Establish A Special Name Or Code Word
Create a special name for your child that is positive and special or a secret code word that you can use between each other. Use the name as a simple reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have special meaning between your child and you that only you two understand. This code word can even be used to extract a child from an uncomfortable situation (such as a sleepover that is not going well) without causing undue embarrassment to the child.

4. Develop And Maintain A Special Bedtime Ritual
For younger children, reading a favorite bedtime book or telling stories is a ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. Older children should not be neglected either. Once children start reading, have them read a page, chapter, or short book to you. Even most teenagers still enjoy the ritual of being told goodnight in a special way by a parent--even if they don't act like it! 

\5. Let Your Children Help You
Parents sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge closer relationships by not allowing their child to help them with various tasks and chores. Unloading groceries after going to the store is a good example of something that children of most ages can and should assist with. Choosing which shoes look better with your dress lets a child know you value her opinion. Of course, if you ask, be prepared to accept and live with the choice made!

6. Play With Your Children
The key is to really play with your children. Play with dolls, ball, make believe, checkers, sing songs, or whatever is fun and interesting. It doesn't matter what you play, just enjoy each other! Let kids see your silly side. Older kids enjoy cards, chess, computer games, while younger ones will have fun playing about anything...as long as it involves you!

7. Eat Meals As A Family
You've heard this before, and it really is important! Eating together sets the stage for conversation and sharing. Turn the TV off, and don't rush through a meal. When schedules permit, really talk and enjoy one another. It can become a quality time most remembered by young and old alike.

8. Seek Out One-On-One Opportunities Often
Some parents have special nights or "standing dates" with their children to create that one-on-one opportunity. Whether it is a walk around the neighborhood, a special trip to a playground, or just a movie night with just the two of you, it is important to celebrate each child individually. Although it is more of a challenge the more children in a family, it is really achievable! Think creatively and the opportunities created will be ones that you remember in the future.

9. Respect Their Choices
You don't have to like their mismatched shirt and shorts or love how a child has placed pictures in his room. However, it is important to respect those choices. Children reach out for independence at a young age, and parents can help to foster those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. After all, it really is okay if a child goes to daycare with a striped green shirt and pink shorts.

10. Make Them A Priority In Your Life
Your children need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life. Children can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel you are not paying them attention. Sometimes, part of being a parent is not worrying about the small stuff and enjoying your children. They grow up so fast, and every day is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it!
Read More...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Keeping Faith in your Partner

Leave a Comment

Dear Lovers, Most of the love stories start from the college life! Generally, the expenses in the college life shoot high with daily transportation, mobile bills, treats, get together, movies etc. But no one at this age have ever thought about earning by themselves.In India,One starts earning only after his/her education gets over.Another influential matter is being in a Relationship. Here, i will be talking about Mature relationships, for whom, those involved,wants to get married. The boyfriend/Girlfriend has NO IDENTITY of their own! Being in relationship is tough.How can you know he/she will do good to their family in future. Here i list down some questions which haunts Girls:
  • Will he be able to handle our family after marriage as a leader? 
  • Will he be able to earn enough to have a good and happy Family life with me?
  • Will he be able to fight all the circumstances and protect our family from all odds?
  • Will he make our family name proud by succeeding in his career?
Dear Girls, HAVE FAITH in your partner. Try to test his skills-Leadership,protection,earning by trying some or other tricks. Does he get frustrated/irritated if you ask him to lead from the front? hmm.. You will get the answers by the way he behaves on regular basis. Mark him and link his activities to above questions. You will be able to get the answer. If the answer is YES, then have Faith and wait until he reaches that stage. Give confidence to your parents that he will surely give his best try and will be something one day :-)

And for boys, some questions that haunts them:
  • Will she be able to run our family very nicely?
  • Will she equally respect my parents?
  • Will she help me in keeping the budget and finances of our family going smooth?
  • Will she be able to become a Next gen lady, a role model of our kids?
You want your wife different from others! If you can believe and support her, she will be the lady of your dreams! Next-Gen guys want their wives to be independent, different from others! Have faith in your girl and one day she will be according to your expectations. Make your parents believe that she isn't girl who wants to divide family but wants to keep it united. In general, RESPECT YOUR PARTNER AND HIS/HER PARENTS and Keep faith in them.And see how you win your partner..
God Bless
[100301c1f615.gif]
Read More...

Friday, April 9, 2010

Understanding-One of the pillars of Relationship

Leave a Comment
A relationship is one of the most beautiful thing one possesses! Being in a relationship, you enjoy all the happiness in the world when being in the arms of your loved one. Relationship is sustained on many pillars. Out of which, understanding is one of the most important pillar of the relationship. You need to understand the partner's situation, its condition and then take any decision you are taking. Understanding makes the relationship strong! When you understand the partner's need, you get more affection from your partner. When you understand the care, and don't interpret it as a interference then you get in return the love you demand. Understanding each other before taking any big decision in your life is a must or then the relationship may end up abruptly breaking down both! Understanding plays a crucial role in the relationship as and when you understand your partner, you understand his/her love for you. Understanding reflects the mental maturity of yours and this is the soul behind successful relationship. Keep some techniques to know the partner's situation. Discuss it and follow it. As for example, if one of the partner is busy, and when the other calls, keep it a technique that whenever he/she cuts the phone, then he/she must be busy and directly send the message that i understand and you need not worry! Will call you back later on! Some words do affect the relationship. Speak the way that gives relief to the other person and he/she can carry her work. Mind it. Call back as soon as you are free! Understanding is both ways! Understand your partner and make the pillar strong so that you never face any problem in your relationship. Show your love in the form of understanding and you will see the sweet fruits in the form of long-lived relationship.
[100301c1f615.gif]
Read More...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Are you honest in your relationship???

Leave a Comment
"Honesty is the best Policy" is truly said. This was taught by our school teachers when we were quite young to embed the quality of Honesty in us. We may be honest enough in your school exams and competitions but are we honest enough in a relationship? If you love someone deeply, the lover is honest, very honest. All the things that you are doing must be shared to the partner whether it maybe going out with friends or to the study or work place. Be honest about whom you meet and socialize. If this is true love, he/she will not stop you from meeting the opposite sex if you are honest to whom you are going to meet. If you want to embed the trust in your partner, Be honest! That is the simplest way to be trusted by your partner.

If you are honest in your relationship, it goes smoothly. Feel it, use it. You will realize that the love in you has increased and so is the respect for the other. Tell all the details and the talks in your meet. Be open to your partner, that will increase honesty in you. If you are honest, your partner will start being honest if he/she isnt! Survey says "93% honest relationships end up happily(marriage) compared to dishonest ones" Be Honest and win the heart of your love !
Read More...

Monday, February 1, 2010

What's Important In A Relationship?

Leave a Comment
The golden question to what makes a perfect relationship. Well, here are some aspects that are a must when you consider how your relationship is ranking:

* Communication
* Friendship
* Intimacy
* Values
* Connection

Let's take a peak at each of these:

1. COMMUNICATION

This is the age-old sticking point of relationships. Not resolving issues, misunderstanding what's said, oh, and the drama continues.

Here are some questions to see how you guys were doing on the communication side of things:

* Did you talk about your life - daily events, hopes, plans etc.?
* Did you open up with personal issues?
* Did you discuss problems in your relationship?
* Did you express your feelings (especially negative ones)?
* Were you honest in your expression?
* Were disagreements settled maturely i.e. with honesty, openness, mutual respect and listening, or was there shouting, blaming and attack?

So, how do you think you (and your relationship) faired in terms of communication abilities?

Relationships, by definition, involve interactions. If you don't get these right or at least on a good footing, there's no such thing as a relationship.

You need to look at where your underlying problems are. Notice the emphasis on YOUR? Not your ex's.

Don't blame and say "He won't engage in a conversation" or "She gets angry about everything".

You need to know what your issues are around communication. Do any of these ring a bell?

* I am too exhausted (physically and/or emotionally) to talk now.
* It's scary to discuss relationship issues.
* I'm embarrassed to talk about my problems.
* I don't want to rock the boat by being open and honest.
* It's awkward expressing my feelings.
* I don't know how to control my emotions.

If you're going to insist that your communication skills are 100% and that the entire problem lies with your ex, then that too is an issue.

2. FRIENDSHIP

You cannot be in a relationship and not be friends. A relationship may not start out on a friendship level, but the elements of friendship need to be in place.

You start with passion and infatuation. These tend to escalate, but they are not "everlasting".

The "honeymoon period" is a reality; at some point you will find that you notice the flaws in the other person and that perhaps you aren't getting along as easily as in the beginning.

You realize that this person isn't perfect and isn't the perfect one you imagined as a partner. This is not the time to bail. This is where the friendship bond comes in.

Your friendship grows over time and that's what holds the two of you together through the ups and downs of life and relationships.

Think of what friends provide and have:

* Great times together.
* A listening ear.
* Trust.
* Know each other.
* Respect and accept each other.

Isn't this a cool bunch of things to have in a relationship? This list can also be quite an eye-opener. Did all or any of these exist in your relationship?

Questions you need to ask yourself:

* Did we do things together and have fun?
* Did we listen to each other i.e. give the other person a chance to speak and really try to understand their point of view?
* If I asked you what your ex's favorite color was, would you know it? Do you know how they would respond to various situations?
* Did your actions always reflect your words? Example: did you view yourself as considerate, yet you often cooked meals your ex didn't like?
* Did it worry you if you didn't know exactly where your ex was and what they were doing?

If you and your ex were not friends, then my bottom dollar is that this was a significant driving force in pushing the two of you apart.

The friendship part in a relationship NEEDS to exist otherwise you're doomed to fail again.

3. INTIMACY

This is the raunchy and fun part. Whilst you need to be friends, you also need to be more than that. You must be having sex and often skinship outside of sex.

If you're not intimate, then you may as well just be friends. If you are only having sex and there is no friendship, then there is no relationship.

So, to get to the point.

Were your sexual encounters satisfying? And, was it 100% satisfying?

In other words, was it frequent enough, long enough, and did you enjoy the experimentation and positions? Did your ex enjoy them too?

Big question: Did you fight about sex? What specifically were the issues?

The tricky part in a relationship is that phase where the infatuation dwindles. The sex and passion can die with it then. That spells disaster.

Sex needs to always be present in a relationship. It's also something that cannot be left to just continue on its own accord. It's an aspect of a relationship that requires nurturing.

Just because you enjoyed certain things initially, doesn't mean the experience should stay the same. To have a fulfilling sex-life means to put effort into it, get some variety, try something new...

If you weren't doing this, I'm pretty sure that at least one of you was dissatisfied.

4. VALUES

"Values" is a concept that is bandied about quite a bit.

Values are the principles by which you live your life. How you make your decisions, carry out certain actions and behave, all depend on your values.

Values include aspects such as: honesty, safety, wealth etc. Beliefs go hand-in-hand with values.

Example beliefs are: "women should not work" or "men must not express emotions".

There are a number of problems that we tend to encounter when it comes to values and beliefs:

* We are not aware of our own values and beliefs.
* We don't know our partner's values and beliefs.
* We don't consider how the two interact and either compliment or go against each other.

Let's give an example to explain how differing values and beliefs can cause conflict in a relationship.

The husband values wealth and status. Therefore, for him it's important to achieve at work, make lots of money and move up the corporate ladder.

He also believes that his success benefits his family as it enables them to live comfortably and be proud of their position in life.

Then, along comes the wife whose top values include family-time and family-life. She's not so concerned about money - they just need enough to be comfortable - status means nothing to her.

She believes that fulfillment comes from quality activities as a family.

The husband, with his values and beliefs works long hours and is resistant to spending time away from his business. The wife is upset and feels that he is ignoring his family and does not love them.

She may even be jealous of his work. For the husband, his hard work is an indication of his love. He may feel she's being unreasonable and demanding. Both of them probably feel hurt and disrespected.

Do you see conflict?

I think this spells B-I-G conflict, and potentially one that causes them to breakup.

Don't despair. Your values may not be identical to your ex's but, in actual fact, they don't have to be.

It doesn't mean that the two of you shouldn't be together. What you need is to recognize and understand your beliefs and then work to form some sort of compromise.

So, let's start...

Do you know your values? These are not always obvious and they can change over time, so, it's good to check in on them now and then.

How do you find out what they are? Well, there is a list of common values in the back of this eBook. Run through it and find the top 10 aspects that are most important to you in terms of a relationship. These are then your main values. (Note you may have values that are not on the list; that is OK.)

If you're a little stuck with this, another indicator of values is to see where you typically have difficulties in your life or relationships. Often a problem indicates our values are being compromised. For example, someone wants you to lie. You feel very uncomfortable with this because it goes against your value of "honesty". Got it?

So, where were your values being compromised in your relationship?

Next question. This one is a bit tougher. Do you know your ex's values?

You may need to guess at these, but it does give you an indication of how well you do in fact know your ex. Remember too that you could be wrong!

If you battled with knowing or finding either your values or your ex's, you were clearly operating without knowing how these beliefs were affecting your interactions. Talk about blind spots in a relationship!

If you do have some idea of your individual values, were they in conflict? Look at the arguments you had or where you felt uncomfortable for clues.

Oh, and if you're wondering how on earth the couple above got things sorted? Well, they firstly started to talk about their beliefs and feelings (remember communication?).

They learned to understand and accept each other's ways, and then they made compromises to accommodate each other.

For example, he agreed not to work on Sundays and there would always be a family outing or get-together. She agreed not to moan if he missed dinner with the family during the week.

5. CONNECTION

Individuality is important in a relationship. You need the freedom to grow as your own person outside your relationship.

You must have your own goals and direction in life. You need to be able to function without the other person. That means no emotional dependence or co-dependency.

Perhaps you were doing OK with the above, but, here is the crux of this concept of connection: Did you have a path as a couple? Did you have shared dreams and goals?

You need to have this in a relationship. There are three sets of goals.

1. Your goals.
2. Your partners' goals.
3. The goals you have as a couple.

Some examples of "couple goals" are:

* Buying a house together.
* Starting a business together.
* Having kids.
* Going on a particular trip together...

Read more: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/What-s-Important-In-A-Relationship-/935272#ixzz0eLrl1wUY
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution No Derivatives
Read More...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Building the Bond in your Relationship

Leave a Comment
A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner�s situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.
Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.
Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.
Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it
Having many things in common
Accepting one another for who we are
Listening to us and considering our opinions important

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner�s wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.
Read More...